Experiencing the Beach

Yesterday morning I was trying to pray as I was walking along the beach, and I got distracted watching the waves and accidentally started to say the same phrase over and over. This is the usual happening in my brain when I lose focus, and when I snapped out of it and realized what was happening, I said, “I’m so sorry,” and I almost slipped into the same old thought pattern; “I can’t grow closer to God, I can’t focus, I don’t know how to pray”, that sort of thing. 

Then I felt as if he said, “You don’t have to be afraid to talk to me. I love you.” 

I was surprised, and I thought about it for a bit. I know I shouldn’t be scared, but I want to say the right things to the king of the universe. I need to have a respectful and thankful approach.

“Well, think about how you would talk to a friend. You want to say the right things and show respect for them. But when there’s someone you have a level of trust and love with you don’t have to walk on tiptoe around them. They understand.”

I realized I was struggling with praying because I was listening to the voice of condemnation in the background, telling me I was doing it wrong. Now I just felt loved and appreciative that God would still listen and speak to me. I figured maybe I should just listen for a while.

For the rest of my walk, I listened to the early morning beach sounds and tried to keep my thoughts quiet (not an easy task). I collected shells, of course.

One in particular stood out to me because it was broken, revealing the beautiful details on the inside that would be hidden if it were whole.

I noticed the waves, too, and how strong and intimidating they are. You know, some people think they are going to swim in the ocean. However, once you get in the water, you quickly discover that you are not really going anywhere. You’re fighting the waves and the direction they are taking you, trying to go your own way. God’s will is like that. If you stop fighting and go along with wherever it takes you, you’ll have a much smoother experience, and often even an enjoyable one. :)

Of course, there was condemnation in the back of my mind; “you know all these things already, or at least you should. Why are you all excited about things that are not new revelations?”

But I do not want to think that way. I want to relish the experiences I have here and not forget what I learned but let it sink deeply into my heart and work it’s way into how I live.